Super Baby

Jasmine at Louis' play "Guys and Dolls"

November 7, 2007-Ottawa

Baby Jazz as we refer to her now has been up to some amazing tricks in the past couple of weeks. She has now been with us for three months, and her progress is incredible. When we met Jasmine in Guangzhou in August, she was quiet, and serious, and having some trouble sitting up.

Now she sits up, she crawls up on her knees, she claps her hands, she plays peek-a-boo behind the curtain beside her high chair. She eats by herself, she can hold her little bottle, she waves bye-bye, and she does her own version of Super Baby.

When Jasmine gets really excited, she gets a very funny expression of determination on her face, and she punches her fist in the air. We thought this was hilarious, she looks like Wonder Woman when she does this.

So every time she did it, I called "Super Baby", which she thought was really funny. And now she does super baby on command. Jazzy likes to imitate me, and Louis, and Pierre, so you just have to look down, way down when you are doing something, and quite often she will be doing the same thing.

I've been off work now for nearly four months, and I am having an incredible time. So much joy, I just want to savour every second.

One Month Together

Ottawa-September 9, 2007

It's 6:00 a.m. and I am awake, marvelling that baby Jasmine is still asleep. Today marks our first month together. All I can say is that we are still floating, thrilled that this child has come into our lives.

She's an amazing kid. She has lifted a cloud that hung over our lives for five long years.

She is sunshine.

To celebrate this auspicious day, the ninth day of the ninth month of the year, we are going for a walk in the Gatineau Hills. When we were in China, our guide Jenny told us that nine was the luckiest number to the Chinese people. I remember sitting on a tour bus with Jasmine on my lap as she told us to climb a mountain on September 9th, and to make a wish for our children.

My wish for Jasmine is that she will always share the incredible joy that she has brought to our lives. My wish for Louis is that he always chases his dreams, as he did with this one, and remember his wise words to me," to never give up."

Both kids are wonderful. Louis is back at school, growing into a handsome young man, interested in music and theatre and sports. When he is home he is a big help to me with the baby, feeding her, playing with her, and even changing the odd diaper.

Jasmine is really happy. She seemed quite serious to us when we were in China, but that side of her is falling away. She can't stop smiling.

I often think about the massive changes she's endured in her very first year of life. To most of us such upheaval would be daunting.

But she is getting so much of what every baby needs. Lots of hugs and kisses, and good food, and music, and fresh air, and cozy time with her family as we wrap her in a blanket of love and rock her to sleep.

She also needs to know with absolute certainty that she will always have a family to count on. That is why I am so happy to be home for the next nine months. Every day, in countless ways, we will tell her that we love her.

Before Jasmine came into our lives, Pierre and I would tell Louis that we were the three points of a triangle. Strong, and resilient, because we would always hold onto one another.

Now Jasmine has turned our family into a square. She needs to know that the three of us are in one of her corners.

I think she already knows this, she shows it by smiling the moment I walk into her room every morning. And by falling to sleep in our arms every night.

Babies are truly glorious.

Guest Appearance from Grandma Heather

We have been in Ottawa for a week with Baby Jas, she has changed from a dear little rather delicate baby to a real North American baby. She smiles, eats watermelon even the seeds if given a chance, reactes to visitors and is not the least shy or strange with new people. Sleeps thro the night and eats every thing on her plate. She of course is enjoying fresh air, good baby food and all the love that any baby should have. She will be christened while we are here and will wear a beautiful silk two piece red chinese jacket and pants which are typical of her country. We feel very privileged to be the grandparents of this beautiful baby and parents and in laws of this wonderful family.

Homecoming

Ottawa-Thursday August 23, 11:30 pm.

We wanted to introduce baby Jasmine to as many family members as we could as we travelled home to Canada. So we decided to fly through Vancouver, with a three hour lay-over, so she could meet her grand-parents on the Thompson side of the family and my brother Matthew.

We landed half an hour early. It took us no time at all to clear immigration, baby Jasmine was travelling on a Chinese passport, and needed a Canadian visa to come to Canada.

Once that was done, we had to check our luggage in at Air Canada.

My cell phone rang, it was my Mother.

"Where are you?" she asked. I described we were behind the glass at arrivals, and that if she moved up to our section of the glass I could show her the baby.

I pushed the stroller up to the window. My Mother was still on the phone, talking and walking, and then she saw Jasmine.

And we both started to cry.

"I love you Mum," I told her in the opening between the glass panels.

"She beautiful." my Mother said.

We finally got our bags through, got through the exit, and found my side of the family.

"This is the best day of my life," my Mother said. After five years of anguish, and grief, and hope, here was baby Jasmine.

We all sat down for lunch, it was delicious. Then Louis, Pierre, Jasmine, and I boarded the plane to Ottawa.

This time it was only a five hour flight. We were veterans.

We arrived right on time, 11:30 in the evening, to a big crowd at the Ottawa International Airport. There were pink and white helium balloons, Pierre's Mum was there, his aunts, cousins from Montreal, one of his student's and his family.

Pierre's Mother was there, Noella, who had taken care of both my children when they were small. I handed her baby Jasmine. I knew she felt the same way I did when I first got a chance to hold her.

Through the crowd I found Tonda MacCharles. She inspired me to make this trip. Two years ago she came to my house, just after I'd gotten out of the hospital after another failed attempt to have a baby.

She had recently brought home baby Li who was about 18 months old from China. "You've got to do this," she said. "It means no more heartbreak, only success."

She was right, I am so thrilled to be baby Jasmine's Mother.

Then there was Hannah Boudreau, another great friend, who has seen me through the worst and the best of the last few years.

"I'd like to ask you to be Jasmine's Godmother," I said.

More tears, and then...."It feels like you just asked me to marry you." Hannah said.

"No, it's easier than that. You just have to spoil her."

And then Aunty Patsy, my own Godmother was there. She too has been with me through some very dark moments. She wrote a letter of recommendation when we applied to adopt baby Jasmine.

Big hugs again.

There was a huge crowd, lots of laughing, and cheering, and picking up baby Jasmine.

When we got home the house was filled with pink and white ballons. There were balloons hanging from the Canadian flag outside. There were sandwiches, and coffee and cake. We had a party that lasted until 2:30 in the morning.

Jasmine ate rice cereal, and some milk. Louis opened presents. Pierre was beaming. I was surprised everyone had gone to so much effort during our absence.

Almost a year ago, a Chinese friend of mine said what touched him the most about Canadian families who adopt Chinese kids is the reception at the airports.

"There is always such a celebration when I fly in from Beijing and there are some adoptees on board," he said.

Now we've had our celebration.

Flight of Joy

Beijing-Thursday August 23.

All of the girls born in 2006 who lived at the Yangxi Social Welfare Institute have the same middle name, Zi, it means purple. "It's a noble colour, that's why I chose it," the orphanage director told us.

At the Forbidden City Jenny told us that "in imperial China, purple was the colour of heaven."

It has been a heavenly month, and as I leave this place I'm feeling a little blue, mixed with purple.

At breakfast in the morning, we made the rounds to all the tables. 14 Canadian families were in our group. What joined us all is our love of children. There was the 47 year old dentist who just wanted one more crack at motherhood after raising several children, there were young couples who had struggled with infertility, there were families who wanted to grow, and add a little sister, there was us.

We'd all pinned our hopes on China, and China came through.

We loaded up our luggage and made our way to the airport. Baby Jasmine was sitting on my lap, as our bus pulled out of the parking lot.

"We'll be back, I promise," I told her.

We got to the airport, it was predictably chaotic. People bumping into each other, bags loaded to the rafters, and me trying to push a stroller through it all. "Baby, baby!!!" I kept saying, hoping people might give baby Jasmine some space.

"That's my husband and my son!!!" I said to one customs officer who wanted Louis and Pierre to move farther down the line.

We got through, got the baby ticket, cleared customs, immigration and security, then we got to the gate.

"They took away my bulkhead seats!" Dave Watts said. He and his wife Lorrie were in our group, and we were dreading the 10 hour flight to Toronto.

"We'll try to sweet-talk the flight attendants," I told him.

We boarded Air Canada flight 030 from Beijing-Vancouver. Pierre, Louis, and I had three bulkhead seats, and baby Jasmine was moving from one lap to another.

I could hear Dave Watts pleading with the flight attendant, there were two seats across the aisle on both sides of us.

A few minutes later Dave sat down, to our left. A Chinese Mother and her 12 year old son, who was carring a violin, said they would exchange seats.

"That's worked out well," I said.

"Yeah, we were worried because the woman on your right refused," Dave said.

The woman was well-dressed, looked Canadian, and was wearing a lot of silver jewellery.

"Not to worry Dave," I said. "If Jasmine decides on projectile vomiting this evening, we'll point her towards the right."

We were all laughing. Dave works in computers at the Royal Military College in Kingston, Ontario. I said we should get the engineers at RMC to figure out the best way to get Jasmine to precision bomb the woman in bulkhead.

"I'll put the cadets on it," Dave said.

There were several families with Chinese babies on our flight. We all had different strategies. I fed baby Jasmine a bottle, and some cereal, and Pierre succeeded in singing her to sleep. The most divine 3 year old who was adopted by a woman in Moose Jaw coped by walking the aisles and making frequest trips to the bathroom. Everytime she passed by she'd talk to baby Jasmine.

"Ni de Ma, Ni de Ma!" the three year old kept repeating and smiling.

"Do you know what she's saying?" I asked her new Mum.

"Nope, we're still trying to figure it out."

And then there was Dave Watts and his wife Lorrie. Realizing that Chinese orphans like to sleep on hard surfaces, Dave unfolded his tray table. Place a pillow on it, and lay his infant daughter on top of the table.

"It works," he said. And he was right. His little girl hardly cried, neither did the others, on our long flight home to Canada.

"Chairman Mao was a very nice man."

Beijing-Tuesday August 21, 2007.

Part of the fun of adopting internationally, is getting to know your daughter's country. Jenny was our guide in Beijing. She is a wonderful woman. Not only did she run all the tours, she also took care of all of the children who were ill. For the first time parents she was a godsend, running up to rooms to teach parents how to change diapers, figure out the right mix for formula, or how to take a baby's temperature.

She also told us many stories about China. She took us one day to Tiannamen Square and the Forbidden City, on another day we went to the Great Wall. On the bus rides on the way over, she gave us a brief description of recent Chinese political history.

"Chairman Mao made his famous speech about the People's Republic of China in 1949 from the balcony of the Forbidden City," Jenny said. "Chairman Mao was a very nice man. Although he made a few mistakes later on in life."

There was Chairman Mao's portrait hanging from that grand building. She told us they change the painting once a year to make sure it looks fresh. There's a lot of pollution in China. I told her we change the Canadian Flag once a day on the Peace Tower on Parliament Hill because we don't want it ever to appear worn or ripped.

But that was it, no discussion of the cultural revolution, or Tiannamen Square, or anything else.

"Deng Xiao-Ping was a very short man," Jenny said. "But a very nice man. He started economic reforms in China."

She added, "Hu Jintao is a very nice man." He's the current President of China.

Jenny may have been brief on Chinese political history, but she had lots to say about Chinese culture. Her family got their first telephone in 1995.

"In the 1970s you were considered rich in China if you had a sewing machine, a bicycle, and a watch." Jenny said. "In the 1980s you were rich if you had a fridge, a television set, and a telephone. Now people are considered rich if they have an apartment, a car, and have one child."

Jenny has a child, an 18 month old boy, who she adores. She works very hard, but said in China they believe it takes six people to raise a child. She counted off the six people, "The Mother and Father, and grandparents on both sides of the family-SIX!" I thought to myself, what a wonderful tradition.

Then she explained why she never takes her jade bracelet off her left wrist. "My husband gave me this bracelet when my son was born," she said. "It means I am a Mother. I never take it off, even when I wash the dishes. It will become deeper in colour, as it gets older. I wear it on my left wrist, because it is closer to my heart. And our tradition is that you only take it off when your daughter marries, then you give it to her."

"Life is getting better, and happier in China." Jenny said. And the evidence of the prosperity she described was all around us. After a month in China, I have to say I love this country. The beauty of the countryside, the generosity of the grannies, the hope for a better life in the cities, and of course the best of all---Jasmine Yang Xi Zi Wan Boulet, a dream baby. She is hope, she is healing, she is pure joy.

"You haven't done this for awhile."

Beijing-Monday August 20th.

We flew from Guangzhou to Beijing because baby Jasmine had to jump a few hurdles before the Canadian Government would give her a visa to enter our country. Her biggest hurdle was a medical exam at the SOS clinic in Beijing. We had to get her ready for 8:00 am on Monday morning. So I dressed her in her best outfit, a little red sailor suit, that matches her Canadian visa photo. We went down for breakfast, and at 7:55 am she promptly spat up on herself, and on her adoring Mother. I took her upstairs to get her dressed...AGAIN...held up the bus, and finally made it to the clinic.

At the SOS clinic we met Dr. Lucy Chen, a lovely woman who had a medical degree from McGill University framed on her office wall. It was a comfort to meet a Doctor from Canada, who had grown up in our hometown. Dr. Chen was married to a fellow Chinese-Canadian, and after graduating from McGill they decided to try to make a go of it in China. Her husband is a lawyer and they have two children, a son who is a bit younger than Louis, and a daughter.

Dr. Chen showed me photos of her family. "What beautiful children," I said. "They are 10 years apart," said Dr. Chen," we adopted our little girl."

With that I squeezed her hand.

She started to look at Jasmine. "She's a very robust little girl," she said. "The strongest child I've seen from the orphanage this morning."

Baby Jasmine likes to eat, we've known that from the moment we got her. We are very lucky, because her height matches her weight, she shows no signs of malnutrition. But the best news came next.

Dr. Chen rang a bell on the left side of Jasmine's head, then used a squeeky toy on the right. Jasmine followed the sounds from left to right. She sat up straight. She smiled. She gurgled.

"Does she crawl?" Dr. Chen asked. "Louis taught her this week," I said. Louis had put her on the hotel floor, and put her favourite toys across the room. She loves her pacifier, and she sped across the carpet to get it.

"She's developmentally on target," Dr. Chen declared. "All the kids are strong, this orphanage may not have been able to spend enough time with the fussy eaters," she said. "But all of the kids are physically strong, that's a good sign from any child that is institutionalized."

Then Dr. Chen began to undress Jasmine, and she started to laugh. "Her diaper is on backwards," she said. " I guess you haven't done this for awhile."